Yesterday, I was invited to play in a golf tournament.
A thank you from a supplier to all of their customers.
A very generous gift...and much appreciated by people who can
actually PLAY GOLF!
My partner, before we had even got to the first tee
was telling me that she had
played golf, three or four times about twenty years ago,
and that she he had never taken a lesson in her life.
She came with an ancient, borrowed set of men's clubs that she had never swung before. I knew we were in deep trouble when she pointed to the first tee box
and asked me: "what's that for?" I've never seen anyone swing at the ball
and miss it completely, so many times, and...then think it perfectly okay to 'just have another go."
Now, not to single the poor woman out too much, I'm sure
of the 144 'players' on the course (and I use the term player loosely),
she was not alone in her lack of ability.
Please don't misunderstand, she was a lovely woman,
interesting, intelligent, and I would love to sit and have coffee with her.
But, tell me,
...would you play hockey if you have never laced on a pair of skates?
...would you enter a swim meet if you haven't progressed beyond using water-wings?
...would you enter a double tennis match if all you had ever done was watch
the Williams sisters on TV?
So why, on earth, would anyone enter a golf tournament if you don't play?
It's so unfair to those of us there to play the game.
I spent all day answering her inane questions:
"which club should I use now?" (truly, it didn't make any difference which one she used, she couldn't swing any of them).
"what's a driver?
"how many strokes have I had so far?" (how high can you count?)
Then there was keeping her 'stuff' together, so she didn't leave it all over the golf course; keeping her quiet when others were swinging;
trying to keep her safe from flying balls and flailing irons (including her own).
It was like baby-sitting a small child.
...and I was really looking forward to playing yesterday!
(rant over)
It's an infuriating game. Before you've actually hit the ball, you know EXACTLY where it's going. Once you've hit it, it's anyone's guess! I gave up years ago.... just too hopeless (like your chum).
ReplyDeleteLike any game Cro, golf requires practice and concentration. If one isn't prepared to do that, one shouldn't impose oneself on others! There I go...ranting again!
ReplyDeleteI know that golfers are obsessed with their game. The poor woman was out of her element but just maybe she had a good time spending her day with you. You will play many more times; it was only one day lost on the links.
ReplyDeleteNot feeling that generous today SOAC! 6 hours in the hot sun with someone that needy takes a bit of getting over.
ReplyDeleteThe game of golf is a long walk, spoiled.
ReplyDeleteYour partner apparently thought the game easier than anticipated, and had no idea about the implications of such slow play on others. That she hung in demonstrated her tenacity.
Sadly, some of us just don't know when to admit defeat. I gave up ages ago. Even gave away my clubs. If I go on a course, it's to watch different sorts of birdies, and eagles. Perhaps you could have suggested that to your partner.
There are only two places on at a golf club that can hold my attention: the nineteenth hole and the exit!
ReplyDeletelol... I'm sorry but you told the story so well.... hehehe
ReplyDeletemaybe this will help..
you now have a great "party story" to tell over and over again and make even more people chuckle....
hope you stopped at the bar right after.....
still chuckling over.." How high can you count?"
xx
z
Oh Sis...that was hilarious, esp. with the photos...but I'm sorry you had such a trying time yesterday. Maybe the woman mistook the word
ReplyDelete'tournament' for 'golf lesson' LOL.
Rob-bear...that's one of the things I love about golf. Three or four hours in some of the most beautiful natural settings on this planet, you get to admire the "other" birdies and eagles when all you have to do is 'be in the moment' (and not babysitting!)
ReplyDeleteEach to his own HV!
I do have to say Z...that icy-cold glass of pinot grigio softened the edges a little. The beauty of this story is I won't have to embellish a single part of it to dine out on. It really was that bad!
V. When I wasn't reminding her to pick up her tee (off that strange thing called the tee box), I was chasing her forever-flying-off-floppy-hat down the fairway. It was like something out of a Keystone Kops movie.
Ouch! (and I mean from your point of view J) Why did she do it? I think she ought to take you for a coffee to make amends! (but it did make a good blog post :0)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, I can't stop laughing... I realise that it must have been very annoying for you and the other players, but the image I have in my head now is just too funny... xo
ReplyDelete